Tuesday, July 19, 2011

time with my self ~ alone does not equal lonely

I feel lonely, I am so alone, I need somebody ~ help!

Alone does not equal lonely.  Often we are in a room of people and feel very alone, very lonely.  Just as often we are in a relationship feeling more alone and lonely than we ever have!

Why is this?

How do I not feel alone or lonely?

Change the language for one.  I am with myself.  The word alone has translated into lonely in our language.  Alone is not lonely it is with myself.  I am going out for dinner with myself.  I am taking myself out to a movie. I am going for a drink with myself.

We think if we hang out with ourselves people will judge us.  The truth is most people are too scared others will notice they are with themselves and think they are losers for having no friends.  This is just not true.  No one notices if there is no one sitting with you, no one.  Often people just assume your are waiting for someone else or got stood up by a friend rather than thinking you have no friends.  People are really just to busy and into themselves to care.

When I used to take myself out to lunch if I got feeling awkward I'd glance at my watch as if to wonder where the other person was.  Then I would go back to reading my book or just sitting and relaxing.  If I wanted to go out to the bar alone, I would walk in thinking no on knows if I own this place or maybe I am a millionaire.  It gave me an air of quiet confidence and I did not feel I shouldn't be there.  Movies are easy to go to alone, no one notices you are there.  Hitch hiking was hard I must admit, I felt stupid but conquered it with thoughts of "I am allowed to feel silly!" and made it home safe and sound from Florida to Saskatchewan then out to BC and back :) yay!

TIme with ourselves is such a gift.  To go for a quiet walk with yourself is a beautiful gift, especially if you are a mom in a busy house!  It does not have to be a power walk for exercise or even have a purpose, it can simply be to have some time with yourself.

We put ourselves last, so why do you think we search for another to put us first?  Problem is if that other person if putting themselves first we feel they have put us last (for remember we are not putting us first and they are not either) and then resentment builds.

Soon we feel alone, so alone but we are not.

We have me, myself and I along with everything we believe in (God, Universe, Goddess, Guides, whatever terms you use, you already know you are not alone)

You can never ever be alone.  Feeling lonely? Walk outside, go shopping, look at all the people.  Say hi.  See you are not alone in this world.

Loneliness is a mental state.  It really is.  Feel lonely and you will feel lonely.  Be proud you are with you, take care of your needs and you will never feel alone again.

Sure you may get lonely from time to time, we love human contact, we really do!  So be brave and take yourself out in the world.  Do not wait for others to come with you on your life experience, take you there regardless of what others may do.

I must tell you some of my best memories are of my with myself.  They really are.  These memories include the Saskatchwan river bank, regular picnics on the livingroom floor while Blaze was a baby (in Edmonton, food from Bp's), Walking the streets of Saskatoon for hours just to see what I could see.  Snuggled up with chips and movies, crying, after I found out my Dad had cancer (yes a sad memory but one of my precious ones).  Standing in a field with the sun beating down, hearing the wind gently blow on my Grandparents farm when I was a child, I have many many good with myself memories from my childhood.  

What are your precious with yourself memories?

What are some things you could do with you?  Where would you like to go?  What would you like to do?  What do you feel comfortable doing with yourself?

What thoughts can you think to show you that you stand by you, love you and will always be there for you?

What things can you do for you when you are feeling lonely?

You are never alone, you will always have you, so learn to love and accept you, ask you what you want, follow your own lead, take care of you, love you for who you are, and always take a gentle tone with the wonderful person you are.

Me, myself and I along with my faith is a force to which no harm can come and sadness/loneliness can never conquer.  AuKeeRa Rayne

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