Thursday, December 15, 2011

What does an attitude with gratitude really look like?

Good question as I find many who say they live in gratitude don't.

WHAT?! yes, really.

Gratitude all begins with appreciating what you have already, that
pretty well wipes out the whole population of Canada and the US for
having an attitude of gratitude. What do I mean?

To be grateful at all times you must see the body you have is a gift,
yes, every dimple and roll, wrinkle and gray hear, ache and pain along
with every emotion you have, it is a gift. The mundane life you lead,
the job you have, all gifts, ones to be grateful for.

I don't get it....

Okay, let's say someone gave you a blue car and you said "thank so
much! but I want the red one" that is the same as saying, Thanks so
much for this body but I wanted something skinnier..... Make sense?

This is also the danger of goals. When we set goals sure move towards
them but do not lose the gratitude along the way!

I am enough I have enough. Believe this and you will see what you
have is more already than you could have ever imagined but it is your
perception that creates the attitude.

If you appreciate what you have, know you have enough, are so thankful
for what you have, KNOWING you will always have what you need at that
time (even if it is not always what you want) then you will be able to
live in gratitude.

Gratitude is not just saying thank you, it is really being grateful
and humbled by the life you have been given to experience this
lifetime, body, burdens, job, family, life experiences and all.

Yes, easier said than done. We don't exactly life in a society
grateful for what it has, no, everyday we deal with the need for
immediate gratification (even though we have enough) and the drive to
get more, more of everything without even noticing (and in some cases
loosing what we already have because we took that for granted).

Saying thank you so everyone else thinks you are grateful doesn't cut
it either, for if you still think you don't have enough then you are
not living with an attitude of gratitude. No faking this one.

I love my life. I am enough I have enough. Everything I need is and
always will be there for me. I love my body. Thank you for my work.
I adore my life.

The ego will always badger you will ill will and lack of gratitude but
it does not need to be the only thought in your head. Add in the
other thoughts that create balance, the thoughts that allow you to see
the beauty of your life and you.

Find this and you will find you do have everything and when you are in
pain, you can still be grateful even if it is through gritted teeth
and you can only be grateful for the anger you feel. This is enough,
you are enough and to me, you are beautiful (I don't care if I sound
lame you are.... you are my equal and for me, that is enough to make
you one of the most incredible people I know)

You can do this, we all can, it is just adding in another thought to
balance and create a different perception. Do not change any of you,
decide you need fixing or run to someone to tell you how to do this.
Rather find thoughts that make you feel warm and fuzzy then think them
along with your other thoughts. Simple. Make it simple, keep it
simple for it is simple and better yet, it is your life.


Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Clairvoyants, psychics, faith and religion ~ AuKeeRa Rayne

Recently I had a woman write and ask me "Do you still have a strong faith in God?  How do I come to keep my faith and consider being open to the gifts you have? Is there any reading you may recommend that might assist me as I try to come to some conclusion about looking into your area of contribution? " and often I am challenged by many faiths as to what I do and where the information comes from.  Even I used to challenge myself, thinking sometime, how is this possible?  

This is what I replied.....

One can only do what I do if they have a strong faith.  One can only do what I do if they believe there is one God.  Faith and religion are not one in the same.  Faith goes further.  One with a strong faith never worries their faith might be swayed and I must have one for people who claim to have faith have questioned my beliefs for decades when I have never ever questioned or tested theirs. Jesus Christ himself was stated to be a clairvoyant in book of Paul, yet this seems to be forgotten when it comes to people like me.  

Sure there are psychics who use fear tactics to get one to come back again and again, this is just cruel.  (So if anyone claims you need to come back over and over for a reading or treatment in reference to you needing them to balance or 'fix' you, use caution, you only need you)

Prophets are clairvoyant but in ordered to be recognized by any church you must be a part of a congregation, so there fore religion itself is at war.... so this is a good question you ask as really there is no way I can prove what I do is real nor true, so ones who come to me must also operate of faith, yet all people know in the depth of their soul when they hear truth, and this is my saving grace.

I read for people of many faiths and I believe my information is for you from God (However I use the word 'they' for many people do not like the use of God for it's Christian inference thus people like this prefer other terms) and that is the beauty of what I do.  All people are seen as equal, all are spoken to with respect.  All are seen as the Bible itself states, Created in His image, children of God.  Thus everyone is spoken to in a way they understand, with solutions they can work with and in a way their faith cannot only stay intact but become stronger, for them, their way.

When I speak to those who have crossed over I make it quite clear the knowledge coming through if from their loved one and not always what they should do (in regards to advice:).  I have spoken to many about their last wishes, things occurring, possible solutions, about all types of things, it really is quite the unique experience for all involved (including me)

So I cannot tell you how you would keep your faith when coming to me, another one's faith is between themselves and what they believe in for only God knows the hearts of man.

My faith is stronger than any one I have ever met.  I do not drop my faith when things go wrong, rather I work to see how everything is in perfect order even though I may not understand. I allow myself to be angry, I even allow myself to be angry at God, knowing he loves anyway (and I still always finish with I may be mad, I may not understand, but I love you and trust you).  Thankfully I have suffered many losses in my life.  I was told I would suffer all losses known to man before the age of 40, and I did.  I was told it was to aid me in my compassion and understanding for others, and it has, deeply it has.

I find many people search for faith and answers but do not know where to look, I really recommend it is "you" you seek, not your Bible (for interpretation gets lost and confusing so quickly), not another's faith, for they always believe they are right and everyone else is wrong.  All your answers lie in you.  All I do is act like an interpreter between the energetic language that communicates between ourselves and what we believe in and God.  God speaks to us all the time, the problem is most often we have trouble hearing it.  This is where a person like me or journaling and prayer come in.

Because you have all your answers all you need is you.  It does take time to learn to hear them but if you journal daily (no more than three half pages in a smaller journal) you will begin to see the difference between the voice of God and your ego.  The voice of God never barters, creates fear or speaks meanly in anyway.  Your inner voice (connected to God) may be direct and firm but never threatening.

I aid many in this communication for our egos are brilliant and because that is the only voice in your head you often hear, you must allow yourself patience and practice to learn to feel God's constant presence.

Graciously I meet with the most courageous of people often when their spirits seem broken, or when they are at their lowest in grief and each time I see the most incredible person sitting in front of me.  I am humbled by what I do and believe my job is to tell you from you (and what you believe in) what you cannot not hear for yourself right now.  I believe what I do is something everyone can learn to do for themselves, it just takes practice and time.  I also firmly believe in what I do, who I am connected to and the integrity I carry with it.

Often as I watch a conversation between one who has passed and one that sits before me, I can't help but cry myself, it is beautiful.  I do sometimes wish people could see what I do, it is really something. I have such a deep understanding of faith, death, the strength of spirit, and the love of what created us all, I just feel blessed, it is quite humbling in so many ways.

Just trust yourself.  If you are truly meant to be here at this time, you will be, if not then journal for awhile, pray, seek your innerself and wait to see if it feel right.  Yes, I can contribute in so many ways but you also need to be ready :)

Let me know if you need anything else.  I have lots of good blogs and videos on utube you wish to check out.  has all the links.  Take care and have a fabulous day!

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Grief and the holiday season

December is a time when emotions are heightened. For those of us who
have lost someone in our lives this time can be one of the hardest. I
can only speak to my own experiences but it is my hope you will find
solace in them.

What do I do to aid my broken heart at this time? Many years ago I
gave a child up for adoption, her due date was Dec 5, she bounced into
this world on Dec 16 then went to her new family on Dec 20. Yes, truly
my heart was broken. What did I do?

Days after her loss, when the feelings were so fresh I went and bought
a ring with her birthstone and wore it keeping it where I could see
it. Having something to represent our loved one with us brings tears
yet also the knowing they are okay. My daughter was alive yes, but no
longer a part of my life, the grief is comparable to the death of a
child. For all of you Mothers (and Fathers) who have lost a child, be
kind to you. Know they are okay, where they need to be, that what you
believe in is taking care of them and although this will never be
okay, one day it will become okay the way it is. Each year her loss
hit me without fail, making the Christmas season very difficult and
unsettling for me. I would light a candle knowing she was loved and
safe. Even after my son was born, my heart did still ache. I met the
woman she had become 20 years to the day I gave her up, and you think
this would take away the loss but it did not, for it is the baby I
grieve and this loss will never leave even though I now get to enjoy
the friendship of the woman she has become. Grief is one of the most
powerful emotions we have and we need to respect this fact.

Know you are allowed to cry, feel the loss, miss them horribly and at
the same time, find a way to be grateful for their life, the memories
and their being that was. Find a way to rejoice in your here and now
(even with tears flowing and a broken heart) find a way to smile.
Yes, it is hard but one can be grateful for their life even though
they have lost, somedays are just easier than others.

Write to your loved one, talk out loud to them when you are allow, pay
homage to their memory with your loved ones, even set a plate at the
table if your emotions move you to do so. Trust they are with you and
they are okay even though you don't feel okay.

Grief does not end, many of us forget this. Sadness will hit you
again and again when you least expect it and around their birthdays
and holidays things are often heightened.

After I lost my father I was out for coffee with a friend one day when
I saw an older man enjoying his coffee, the sight of his hands brought
me to tears for they reminded me of my father. It took me a good
fifteen minutes to get it together, the emotions hit me out of the
blue, there was no way to avoid them, so doing my best not to feel
embarrassed I let tears stream down my face. My friend knew not to
feel sorry for me, she knew I was okay and the memories were
beautiful. I wore a necklace I gave my father during his battle with
cancer after he died. I spoke to him often (and still do). His
birthday was Dec 10, so again this year I woke up not happy for no
apparent reason, yes, it still took me off guard, yes, I still cried
and yes, I still miss him. This loss will not ever heal and yet I
know he is okay, I am proud of the man is was and I know he is where
he is meant to be and yes, I am sad that place is not still here with

Being human is not easy. We love deeply knowing one day we will lose
those we love or they may lose us but yet we have the courage to love
anyway for this love is a gift of being human and loss is the gift of
knowing they got to go home.

In December we often self reflect more than usual with the new year
coming, stress heightens and sometimes the cruelty to ourselves
heightened. The one thing you need to remember is not to be to full
of expectation. Christmas is just another day, you MUST remember
this. And the new year does not mean you rush to change things or
start new things. No, this is a time just to be grateful and relax
(although we seem to often miss that point). It is a time to be
gentle with you and those around you, a time to reflect and be
grateful for the year that has just passed, a time to just be.

Light a candle for those you have lost. Draw them close. Let your
tears come. Be grateful for the family you can still touch (even if
they are now only your furry friends). Just recognize even with all
your loss, you still have your life and those you have lost wish only
that you live. No, it doesn't have to be perfect, nor eloquent, it
just has to be what it is and that will be enough.

Hugs to your heart from mine for I know how deeply painful this time
can be, I made it through, even during the years I only lost me, I am
still here doing the best I can do in each moment in time knowing the
next moment is just a breath away.


Monday, December 12, 2011

The haves and have nots ~ it's a matter of perception

Is there really a good time to decide what you have is not enough? No.

As soon as we think others have more than us or what we have is not
enough gratitude stops.

When we are looking for what we 'need' rather than being proud of and
accepting what we have, living in the moment... stops.

Our society tells us we must set goals to keep our drive up but this
also creates a slippery slope of never realizing we have enough.

When we think our lives are not enough we then look to other things to
fulfill us. We look for our success and acceptance through what we
own, who likes us and then we think we need to prove to others we are
enough leading to us feeling abandoned and alone. This makes our self
esteem even worse and leads us to believe we are not worthy of the
things we think we want to complete us. A vicious cycle complements
of a lack of gratitude and assumption.

Look at your life. Find the simple things to be grateful for and
proud of. It is enough, you are enough. Whether you like it or not
life goes one, you are moving forward, growing and changing regardless
of what you do, this life you cannot stop. You will do what you need
to so jump in.

Being grateful for what you do have creates a fertile ground to keep
on recognizing what you are receiving turing you into to a "have"
rather than a have not.

It is simply a change of though and recognizing you are already where
you are meant to be and will be in each and every moment.

How? You feel yourself begin to pout, your thoughts are having an
issue.... I am so broke. Don't stop the thought rather balance the
thought, I love the place I live (note you have a roof over your head,
then silently say thank you to what you believe in)

Thoughts are about balance. Life is about balance and finding your
middle of the road. Balance each observation you are using against
yourself with another observation which aids you to realize the pride
you have for you and your life. Yes, this does take practice at first
and all you are doing is simply realizing the reality you already
exist in. Thinking this way just gives you more than one perspective.

The process of becoming a person who has everything is only a matter
of thought.


Thursday, December 8, 2011

expectations & the holiday season

The holiday season is now upon us once again. Filled with love,
family and reminders of how precious life is, this season also comes
with high expectations of self and others.

The gifts we buy, the meals we make, how our homes look, being on
time, being accepted, all while dealing with heightened emotion of
possible failure or rejection.

For those of us who have lost someone, sadness mounts. Any past
painful memories of this month return with full force in our
vulnerable moment, sweeping off our feet and center.

So what can we do? How do we make it through? Some of us want to run
away, some stay home and away from family, some are being overtaken by
grief while others work hard to prove themselves.... stop.

If you need to just run
-take a deep breath and list what you want to do. Don't decide you
are not capable, write it down, look at it. See what you can
eliminate and how you can complete all your obligations and gift
lists. Sure holiday supper can be put on paper plates, why not? No
your home does not have to be decorated properly! Yes, you can stay
on budget and by doing this it does not make you cheap, less of a
parent, friend or partner.

If you want to just stay away from family
- it is one day, for some maybe longer. Remember you are all adults
now (even if they don't seem to treat you like one). Go without
expectations for anything to change and prepare yourself for the
'usual' but go in treating them as the adults they are (the kindness
of a stranger works to..... especially for those you have a problem
with, why does this work? because it is easy to treat them with
kindness if we act in our heads like we have never met them)
- If the meal is in your home, do all your prep before family comes,
make it simple and efficient so you can handle it. It does not matter
what the family expects, you are the host, it is your home and you
have been generous enough to welcome them into it. They are on your
turf by your invitation, remember this.
- When it come to small talk know you can always remove yourself from
a conversation. Go to the bathroom, then hide out in the kitchen for
a bit. If you feel cornered, excuse yourself. You can do this and it
is not rude, even with family. Just because you are related or grew
up with people doesn't give them more power than others, unless we
choose to.

If family is staying with you or you with them. Remember to not
change what you would normally do. Do not be selfish or impede on
their time or space (if you are their guest) but do not feel you have
anyone else's standards to live up to but your own. Yes, if you are a
guest always leave things as they were and clean up after yourself,
that should go without saying. If you have guests and they do not do
this, don't invite them back, yes, this is also your right even with

Sure I do know this stuff is easier said than done but if you are
ready to feel less stress you will try it.

Grief...... this one is my specialty in Dec for my run of grief goes
from Dec 5th to the 31.....

How does one handle past lost during this time. It is not easy, not
at all. During a time we want to be happy or we want our loved ones
there, they are not. How do we blend the two?

Give yourself permission to feel both emotions. You can be happy and
joyful while feeling sad and destroyed. Yes, we can feel more than
one thing at a time.

Take time to reflect and 'visit' with your loved one. Even if you
can't 'feel' them there, talk to them out loud, or in your mind, so
you acknowledge your loss. No, this does not bring them back, No, it
won't make it all better, and yes, it will make you feel but it will
be worth feeling they are there in some way. Allow yourself to cry,
it is okay.

Proving yourself ~ now is not the time to decide others must know who
you are. Really this is not the time. When we feel the need to prove
ourselves it is because we feel we have not lived up to another's
expectations of us. We are not all adults, what is past is past. Do
not let your ego tell you this is the time to discuss anything you
think others wish to know. Most of all listen to yourself, if you
need to talk it out it is you who should be listening to you. These
emotions are evoked because we have not feel heard or feel forgotten,
so listen to you. Take time to think it through and listen to you if
your insecurity hits while you are in the presence of others. Don't
ignore you to. Others do not need to hear all about your stress
during the family supper. This is a time for small talk, to catch up
and just to have fun. If you have someone who is trying to prove
themselves to you, tell them, "I hear you. Let's meet and talk this
out another time." whether you mean it or not, it is the right thing
to say. White lies can be so important during this time. Do not use
honesty like a knife to get your point across, it is not worth it.
The statement I hear you, squashes their need to be heard, planning to
make a date later (you don't have to follow through if you don't want
to) allows them to feel vindicated for the moment allowing you to make
it through the day together.

Above all try not to have an expectation before you start out. It is
going to be what it is. You are loved (although you may feel judged)
most if not all of these people love you, although you may not feel
they show it, decide and choose to let it be enough.

Look at your home, be grateful for what you have. It is not about the
gifts you give, it really isn't. If your season has become about the
gifts, time to change that. This is not a time for kids and teens to
'cash in'. This is a time to do your best, stick in your budget and
know what you get is enough. This is when you really need you so
don't let your ego become the one who controls the spending, bring
reality into play.

You know, I really don't know to many people who wish to be around
their family at this time even though we wish we did feel that way, so
let's all give it our best, fake it til we make it, enjoy our oddly
wrapped gifts, which may not be the perfect gift, know we belong where
ever we are because at least we have ourselves there :) And most of
us, know we will never regret making the effort, living up to only our
expectations, and respecting how much we love ourselves and those we
have chosen to place in our lives during this time.

*hugs* and enjoy your holiday :) AuKeeRa