Monday, July 25, 2011

my body, my life

I look in the mirror and all I see are flaws. Where is the
perfection? I don't think there is any.

In our society we are set up for failure. We are never pretty enough,
thin enough, dressed right, owning enough nor making enough money.

No matter how hard we try, what route we take, our failures just seem
to pile up.

You look in the mirror and what do you see?

I will tell you what to look for......

There is only one you.

There is only the standards you set.

Only you can accept you as beautiful, perfect and enough.

Another's compliments will never be a substitute for your own from you.

Rather than trying to change you, accept you first.

This means dress the body you have and work with face you have. Stop
trying to change you, enhance you!

Don't be angry and aggressive in your mind thinking, this is me,
accept me. This is the voice of insecurity and rebellion.

Rather go where you feel beautiful and empowered within what you can
afford. Yes, there is a way.

Go to a make up counter and get your make up done. Then go to a drug
store and get educated on similar products and finally go to a place
with a price that suits you.

For clothes go try things on, not to buy, just to try. Think about
how you want to look, what you want to present and observe the world
around you. Don't copy but take a piece or two and add them to you.
No, you may not know how, and you may not be perfect at it but the
care you are taking for you will shine through along with the feeling
of mattering to yourself.

You see, that is the secret. Taking the time to notice you,
compliment you, and put you in your priority list will translate to
you wanting to make time to allow you to feel as beautiful on the
outside as you do on the inside.

It is not our outside we see as icky, fat, old or ugly it is what we
worry about others seeing in us and how we feel inside. We feel icky
and fat, old or ugly and we will feel that is what other's see, there
goes our assumptions again!

We cause our spiral, so again balance is the key here. Yes, we will
have days we don't like our external appearance and also not like all
of ourselves but we can still like the other parts of us, we just need
to allow ourselves to have both.

Have an outfit you can wear on fat days where you still feel you look
beautiful, don't just throw on sweats and be aggressive in your
thoughts. Be gentle with you and take the time you need that day. Be
kind to you.

Each morning take the time to protect your skin and brighten your
eyes, you will feel empowered. No it doesn't need to take alot of
time nor money to do this and it will empower you to live in the
society you have chosen to live in.

Remember, we work of visual cues in this society, this is why we feel
so controlled so take the time to find your middle of the road. Think
of how you want to perceive you and aid you to do that. Stand by you,
take the time to meet you, love you for who you are then enhance what
is already there making it present for the world to see.

First chapter of "From Above with Love ~ Basic Knowledge One" will aid
you in the process of understanding how you see you and how you think
along with how to balance this. It is worth the work.....

*hugs* AuKeeRa

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Within each moment, each experience, lies a gift.

Most of you know my son's hamster died and I was bit by a dog this
weekend, one may ask why?

Within all situations lies gifts.

The gifts of the hamster dying. To die at home would have been hard
on my son. It may have appeared that smokey's long drawn out demise
delayed our lake departure however instead it gave much needed time
for Aaron to return home from work and pack, make me sit and wait,
allow the phone guy to come to fix the phone lines, then time for my
son to assimilate the loss of his pet. He was so excited to go to the
lake he mentioned he was sad to lose her but was so happy we were off
to the lake. At the lake, the little dying creature gave a man his
first chance to hold something very loved who was leaving this world.
A rare chance for many of us and a gift in itself.

What about the dog bite? How can that be a relief? The dog bite gave
me a chance to release some stress in tears (yes, I cried... twice!),
provided a chance for my friend who drove me in and I a chance to talk
and for me to listen, gave Aaron some time alone with his friends (but
i think all he did was miss me), along with a chance for him to make
me supper, an opportunity for him to know I am okay even when he can't
be there for me the universe will take care of me, a chance for the
people there to see a situation can be handled without yelling and
fighting, an opening provided for a much better relationship with the
security and RCMP which a few of our campers had made difficult the
night before, hopefully an introduction to the dog's family in how the
laws in Saskatchewan work and a safer environment being provided for
the next person to come in contact with the dog, the first time ever I
placed charged (or at least have asked too) against another person for
something which happened to me (and felt it was right!), I spoke up
for myself and followed through without remorse or concern of outcome
for the dog. Although I am a deep animal lover I would not have an
issue if my actions resulted in the dog being put down. That is a
first for sure.

The dog bite also provided a much needed reset button. Sometimes life
just so overwhelming we get stuck in our heads and then WHAM something
out of the blue happens and everything shifts, even if just a tiny
bit, clarity comes and more opportunities are provided.

In every little moment, there is a gift. When roadblocks seem to be
thrown up time and time again, there is a gift. However in order to
receive these gifts, we must first believe they are there. We are not
victims of our lives thus situations are not provided to victimize us,
rather as gifts in disguise of life experience.

When we are late to something, chances are the other person is late to
or the lateness provided a gift to someone later. Never assume things
are bad. When we are early it is a chance for us to relax if we let
it be rather than a feeling someone else is monopolizing our time or
trying to prove we are efficient and good enough.

When we get an injury or illness, it is not caused by something we
have done wrong, it is a gift. A gift of new experience for sure, a
time to put ourselves first (something so many of us are just not good
at), a time to ask for help, a time to be self trusting and reliant,
time to be quiet and relax, and a time to develop faith further,
knowing we are safe, okay and things will work out exactly like they
are suppose to.

Now don't get me wrong, even when we see gifts human emotions will
still be present. We are suppose to have anger, sadness,
disappointment and all other emotions even when we see the gifts in a
situation it may still not always make it feel better at first. Plus
we may not always realize the gifts right away. Retrospect really
does show how much the universe has provided within our human

Pause and look at your life, what gifts have the worst times of your
life provided? Remember, if you are still feeling like a victim, you
are not seeing the gifts given to you. When looking for our gifts it
is where the experience brought you to. You will always be a better
person for it, no matter how bad the experience, how extreme or
painful or how drastically it changed your life. If this words
provoke anger within you then take a look again, for you are still not
seeing it and when we feel something shouldn't have happened to us, we
never accept that it did.

Acceptance never means you have forgive another person, condone their
actions or fix/heal the fact it did happen, you only have to accept it
did. You never have to like that it did, ever.

In our society we seem to always be seen as broken, needing to be
fixed, that life has hurt us, cheated us, taken things from us but I
see we are perfect, whole and complete as each moment is the only
moment we have. That each moment provides a human experience we never
had before. That we do not have to like everything that happens nor
everyone around us rather accept what happened did and accept we don't
have to tell others when we don't like them, don't forgive them, and
never want them around us again.

If you look at your past it is an intricate dance with one situation
providing a platform for the next to occur providing a unique life
experience for each and everyone of us with no single moment exactly
the same. These moments are a second in time and the only reality we
know. Acceptance is the only thing needed to live this life.
Accepting what is happening is actually happening. Knowing the
emotions we are having we are allowed to have. Knowing this moment
will lead into the next moment and accept that is not something to fear.

My favorite thought is when I describe people lives as a mosaic or a
painting. I can see this gorgeous piece of art forming before my
eyes. Each moment is a dot of color or a colored piece of glass or
pottery. There are darker times and lighter times providing depth and
flow to the piece. No two artworks are the same, not one is ugly nor
hard to look at or wrong, each life painting or mosaic, even though
they are never finished, are breathtakingly beautiful.

This life is a gift as is each moment in it thus why I always say
"Life is not meant to be an uphill climb, it's just life" AuKeeRa Rayne

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

time with my self ~ alone does not equal lonely

I feel lonely, I am so alone, I need somebody ~ help!

Alone does not equal lonely.  Often we are in a room of people and feel very alone, very lonely.  Just as often we are in a relationship feeling more alone and lonely than we ever have!

Why is this?

How do I not feel alone or lonely?

Change the language for one.  I am with myself.  The word alone has translated into lonely in our language.  Alone is not lonely it is with myself.  I am going out for dinner with myself.  I am taking myself out to a movie. I am going for a drink with myself.

We think if we hang out with ourselves people will judge us.  The truth is most people are too scared others will notice they are with themselves and think they are losers for having no friends.  This is just not true.  No one notices if there is no one sitting with you, no one.  Often people just assume your are waiting for someone else or got stood up by a friend rather than thinking you have no friends.  People are really just to busy and into themselves to care.

When I used to take myself out to lunch if I got feeling awkward I'd glance at my watch as if to wonder where the other person was.  Then I would go back to reading my book or just sitting and relaxing.  If I wanted to go out to the bar alone, I would walk in thinking no on knows if I own this place or maybe I am a millionaire.  It gave me an air of quiet confidence and I did not feel I shouldn't be there.  Movies are easy to go to alone, no one notices you are there.  Hitch hiking was hard I must admit, I felt stupid but conquered it with thoughts of "I am allowed to feel silly!" and made it home safe and sound from Florida to Saskatchewan then out to BC and back :) yay!

TIme with ourselves is such a gift.  To go for a quiet walk with yourself is a beautiful gift, especially if you are a mom in a busy house!  It does not have to be a power walk for exercise or even have a purpose, it can simply be to have some time with yourself.

We put ourselves last, so why do you think we search for another to put us first?  Problem is if that other person if putting themselves first we feel they have put us last (for remember we are not putting us first and they are not either) and then resentment builds.

Soon we feel alone, so alone but we are not.

We have me, myself and I along with everything we believe in (God, Universe, Goddess, Guides, whatever terms you use, you already know you are not alone)

You can never ever be alone.  Feeling lonely? Walk outside, go shopping, look at all the people.  Say hi.  See you are not alone in this world.

Loneliness is a mental state.  It really is.  Feel lonely and you will feel lonely.  Be proud you are with you, take care of your needs and you will never feel alone again.

Sure you may get lonely from time to time, we love human contact, we really do!  So be brave and take yourself out in the world.  Do not wait for others to come with you on your life experience, take you there regardless of what others may do.

I must tell you some of my best memories are of my with myself.  They really are.  These memories include the Saskatchwan river bank, regular picnics on the livingroom floor while Blaze was a baby (in Edmonton, food from Bp's), Walking the streets of Saskatoon for hours just to see what I could see.  Snuggled up with chips and movies, crying, after I found out my Dad had cancer (yes a sad memory but one of my precious ones).  Standing in a field with the sun beating down, hearing the wind gently blow on my Grandparents farm when I was a child, I have many many good with myself memories from my childhood.  

What are your precious with yourself memories?

What are some things you could do with you?  Where would you like to go?  What would you like to do?  What do you feel comfortable doing with yourself?

What thoughts can you think to show you that you stand by you, love you and will always be there for you?

What things can you do for you when you are feeling lonely?

You are never alone, you will always have you, so learn to love and accept you, ask you what you want, follow your own lead, take care of you, love you for who you are, and always take a gentle tone with the wonderful person you are.

Me, myself and I along with my faith is a force to which no harm can come and sadness/loneliness can never conquer.  AuKeeRa Rayne

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Stress, frustration and anger

Emotions are a human gift but somedays emotions sure do not feel like
a gift.

We think we are not allowed to feel, then when we feel we think we
need to let everyone know how we are feeling, confusing.

When we ignore our emotions we begin to create a pressure cooker
effect, one day that lid will blow off.

When we constantly act out our emotions towards others, we are not
dealing them, we are creating more drama for our ego to feed off of.

SO what is the solution?

Accept you are feeling anger, stress or frustration, not act it out,
or even figure it out, just say to ourselves, I am angry, frustrated
and stress and I get to be.

This thought allows these emotions to be present but not take over our
day and thoughts.

We forget we can have all of these 'negatives' and still be content,
even optimistic while feeling them. Yes, we can feel many things,
while still functioning in daily life.

We have been taught we just tell everyone how we are feeling. Why?
People at work don't care. Family don't want the wrath or fall out of
our bad mood and friends usually have their own stuff going on,
so mental acceptance is the only way on a regular basis.

Okay, so explain this to me? What do I do?
Acknowledge the feeling mentally and allow it to be present, do your
best not to take it out on family, friends or at work.
DO NOT try and immediately solve these emotions.
If you feel someone else has caused the emotions to occur, do not run
and decide talking to them will figure it out.
Talk to you first!

Have you ever noticed arguing solves nothing?
Both parties are usually trying to prove they are right rather than
finding a solution, and sometimes the solution has nothing to do with
person you are blaming.

So pause, accept what you are feeling, go through your present day and
moment doing what you need to do to live, knowing you are allowed to
feel what you are feeling but do not need to act it out, then, when
there is time, see if there is something you need to speak with you
about. No not the other person yet.....

When you sit down to examine your solutions, you need to approach it
like an adult. Yes, a solution oriented adult :) We are not in the
sandbox, on the play ground nor in highschool. We are adults.

If your solution is telling the other person they are doing something
wrong, seriously think about this before you do it. Is this something
they have done since you met them? Is this a deal breaker? Do you
treat yourself the same way you are accusing them as treating you?
What do you need from you first? What do you need from them? Maybe you
need a hug or cuddle rather than a fight. Maybe you need to know you
are not alone rather than correcting a behavior you decided was the
problem for you feeling angry. When dealing with emotions honesty of
self is required.

Sometimes, well often actually, our emotions begin and end with us.
We don't find the solutions for our stress, frustration and anger lie
anywhere but within us and how we decide to treat ourselves, perceive
our lives and the thoughts we think each day.

So do your best to accept all of you each day; all of your emotions,
good or bad. Ask for help when you need it, try not to blame and
remember you always have a solution. You are the best you, you can
be, in this moment, in the next and forever. You are enough.

Monday, July 11, 2011

Be the driver in your vehicle of life.

You are either the driver or you are an unwilling passenger in an
unmanned vehicle feeling like a victim being dragged along.

There will be twists and turns, barricades seeming to stop you dead in
your tracks, detours, highs and lows, good weather and bad, this is
your trip and it will be the experience of a lifetime.

None of us are born knowing how to drive this vehicle, even if we have
had thousands of past lifetimes ~ no human experience will be as great
or be like the one you are having now. It is impossible to recreate a
single second exactly let alone a whole life time.

Some believe our path is preordained some believe we make up the road
as we go. Regardless how gifted you are with the second sight, you
will never see all experiences coming and even if you do, the
experience will always be a first, even if it appears to mimic the last.

Therefore we will always feel like we don't know where we are going
although we can see where we have been. As our road/life goes along
the road we have travelled will fade into memories and we will use our
experiences to think we know what is coming next, but we still will
never know.

We will use our time to decorate (as so to speak) our vehicle to
hopefully make it more comfortable, but often we decide our vehicle is
not good enough and begin to resent the fact we were given this
vehicle wishing we could trade it in for another forgetting the fact
we have this vehicle to live our lives in the first place. How about
a dose of gratitude and the realization your vehicle is what allows
you to be here in this world a all?

Then there is the fear. We know this road/life doesn't end til we die
but yet we often spend our moments wishing it would end sooner, be
different or decided the trip is just not good enough. We begin to
fear our trip and it's experiences, stating the road we have just
traveled (the experiences of our past) or the unknown of the road
(life) infront of us as the reason for the fear. However the road
(our life) continues, the vehicle still moving no matter how scared we
get we can't stop life.

Sure you can feel fear and while you are feeling it realize it is a
man made emotion. Fear used to be a flight or fight response. The
fear we experience everyday is unwarranted. It serves no purpose at
all. This fear we have created does not keep us safe, nor alive.
This fear does not make us feel content nor bring enjoyment to our
trip/experience of life. No, this fear tortures us, makes us feel
like failures, and creates more fear. Fear of more failure, fear of
being alone, fear of being judged, fear of being just not good enough
for anything or anyone. This fear serves no purpose what so ever.
This fear does not make us stronger, no we use it for the exact
opposite, to keep us thinking we are weak and not capable of driving
our vehicles of life.

This vehicle keeps on going, the road (experiences) keep coming and
like I said, you either experience those experiences or you go through
them kicking and screaming feeling they are being 'done to you' and
you are a victim of your own life experience. The choice is yours,
yes yours.

Oh my gosh AuKeeRa, seriously? Really? but life isn't always fun and
I am just not able to handle everything handed to me, am I?

Another thing we often forget is all of us are going through the same

We all are born unprepared, with no manual on a road we can't see what
is coming ~ no matter how gifted you are, you will never know how to
handle a situation you saw coming until you are already in it ~ this
is where trust in self is needed, not fear.

Life is happening, every second. No single second repeats itself even
though we think it does, we are not on a repeating track we are on a
'road' that is always presenting new life experiences. Our ego begs
to differ as we decide we can no longer learn, we have been there,
done that, and then we become complacent. We think we don't need to
be an active participant in our lives, they will happen anyway, so
whatever, it's not what I wanted anyway, I wanted more, so I'll just
wait for the next experience.

What is handle it mean anyway? We do our best, we drive the best
through adverse life conditions, sometimes we hit the ditch, get
stuck, use a few choice words but we don't just abandon our vehicle
and walk away never to return. Life can be messy, our road, this life
trip/experiences offer all the ingredients to the perfect life

Great weather, bad weather, horrible storms, awesome hills to gorgeous
highs, and deep valleys which can be calming or feel like horrible
lows. There are cars all around us, seeming to get in our way, slow
us down, almost cause accidents and just plain pissing us off,
however, those people are in their vehicles and thus do not effect the
mood in our car, unless we allow it. Even if they smash into us,
hurting us, our vehicle keeps running, our life keeps going and we
decide if we can love and accept what we may perceive as a damaged
vehicle or we may chose to see it as an experience and move onto the

If you use the image of the vehicle using this image to represent only
your body and mind, nothing external at all, you will see it is always
up to you to appreciate you first, your experience next (even if you
don't like it or are finding it stressful, it is still your life, you
don't like it but you are going to experience it weather you like it
or not, so what you think is the key)

While you have been reading this your ego has been trying to distract
you and explain why you can't just experience your life. You must
worry, plan, fear, trying to explain to you why what you are doing is
just not good enough. You must be present, watch your thoughts and be
more that what you are, because to just be is just not enough!!!

The truth is regardless of what you chose to think or believe, your
life (road) goes on. You can use your thoughts to enhance your life
experience, or make it pure hell. Our thoughts create the perception
of what we are experiencing.

Stop thinking about all the self help books you have read and bring it
to the second you are alive in. Your goal is to live and experience
each second. Once each second is gone it is followed by the next.
Being present as the books tell us is not possible for by trying to be
present we are now not present, silly eh?

More or less you want to observe and allow the experiences to unfold,
trying to to guess, fear or control what you assume is happening.
This combined with loving the vehicle you've been given is the simple
explanation to enjoy this road/trip/life you are experiencing now.

When you feel you are overwhelmed, roll down your windows, say hi to a
passer by and just breath.

You cannot drive the wrong way, no barrier will ever kill nor destroy
you (even though some of them feel pretty hard, your life continues on
and those moments become the road you have now already traveled, you
decide how much thought you give it in your present moment)

Somedays you are going to want to just stop, but ask yourself, are you
ready to die? I doubt it, so change your scenery, literally, walk
outside, go for a coffee, sit and read a good book, if you need a
break, take one.

WE make this very very complicated when really it is not. You are
alive in this second. You are present whether you like it or not.
Accept you are doing the best you can in this split second. Accept
the fact you are already enough. Accept the fact this IS your life
and it is a gift. Accept your past is a road you have already
travelled and not the road you are on. Accept you don't control your
future and you WILL do the best you can when it comes as well. Accept
the fact we are all equal, on different roads, in our own cars, not
agreeing with how we see others driving and not responsible for
another's road or vehicle condition.

I use you all as my guides as to what I should write about next.
After you have read this, message me on what you would like to know
next, I will do my best to deliver. ~

Have the most incredible day as you continue along your road of
life :) AuKeeRa

Friday, July 8, 2011

Why do we always seem to feel stupid?

Have you ever noticed how often we seem to feel stupid, embarrassed or
that we have done something wrong?

It seems no matter how hard we try, it is just not good enough.

Our parents what more for us, or friends just want us to be happy, our
partners what more for us..... seems like a nice thought, all these
people caring but it translates to my life is not enough just the way
it is.

Oh yes, our parent's job is to prepare us for this world and then it
is up to us to take over however we usually take the critical voice
and only move that one forward, forgetting our parents also gave us
encouragement, love and support, we need to have those thoughts too.

Our friends while wanting us to be happy often allude to their
thinking we are not happy enough already. Yes, it may be due to our
incessant b*tching and complaining to them, but isn't that what
friends are for? Yes, our friends are to be a sounding board,
offering advice when asked but not assuming we need it. Find friend
who can do this for you so they enhance your life rather than add to
the sense of feeling stupid or not good enough. Also become that kind
of a friend yourself, we are not responsible for our friends even if
they want us to be.

Our partners, bless their souls, so often are threatened when we are
feeling off deciding we need fixing. We don't. If you think you need
fixing then your partner will feel responsible for you and parent
you. You will then resent your partner for trying to control you
blaming them for treating you like you don't know what you are doing,
even though you put them in that position.

A partner who choses to try and fix (rather than just giving hugs and
kisses knowing this will pass) will decide he/she must always fix
things and is not able to have a bad day themselves. This will result
in controlling behavior and eventually resentment as you will feel you
are doing too much and yet you took it on by choice.

So is it any wonder we always think we are doing it wrong? Is it any
wonder we are always feeling stupid, like we are missing something.....

Even our society has it set up so we can never, ever succeed. We are
born being taught to go into debt now, (before we even have cash we
are 'expected to own a home, a car, be married then have kids!) but
hey, we can get credit..... lol....

We are told we aren't skinny enough, don't have enough faith, are
killing the planet.... we are told we are the solution to everything,
we are responsible for everybody and yet we have NO idea how to take
care of our own little world in our minds.

No, this is one thing left out in this society. All the spiritual
stuff our there tells us we are never in the place we are meant to
be. New age says we are always learning making it sound like we will
never be in a place where we know enough, and yet we are born perfect,
we die perfect and the only thing we need to do is experience this
life. Yes, experience. Sure we will observe our life and we will use
experiences to notice new things in the next experience, but we are
enough, we don't need to learn to be more, we need to experience the
moments we have..... it's all about the experience of life and
tweeking it through more experience.

See? You are not stupid :) I am not stupid. Nobody is! There is no
need to feel embarrassed because you 'think' you did not live up to
someone's expectations, even if they were your own. We need to get in
our corners and become our own cheering section.

How we usually handle these situations now....

"Gosh I feel like an idiot" voice to answer self "Your are an idiot, I
can't believe you did that!!!!!!

Normal next action.... call friend "Oh gosh am I ever stupid, I can't
believe I did that!!!!" Friend, "OMG!! Really? You did that? That's
horrible!? Tell me more! (and now the wallowing will commence with
normally no solution or resolution in sight but a great b*tch session
usually ending up with you mad or feeling more stupid but usually not
making you feel better)

Normal third course of action, stupidity won't be forgotten and we
will hold onto it until we can tell our partner. Hopefully by this
time you can laugh but most of the time we are still feeling
embarrassed, so it will look like this "Honey you should see what
happened today! I just feel stupid! I can't believe this happened"
and often we ask again "I don't know what to do"

Maybe there is another way........

Gosh I feel like an idiot ~ balancing self thought ~ I hear you, I
know you do but I am proud of you (then ignore your ego trying to tear
you down more or just keeping thinking both negative and positive,
remember we can do both!

Call to friend..... Qualify why you are calling and what you need.
Ask for what you need, trust your friend to provide it. "I just feel
stupid today and want to hang around you. I figure we could go for
lunch. Mind if I b*tch for a bit? Then I promise we can just visit,
I want to hear how you are too." Then when you see your friend tell
her/him what is bothering you only asking for advice if you really
feel you need it, friends ~ don't offer advice unless you ask ~ do you
want my opinion. A possible friend answer could be ~ "I hear you!! I
have done the same thing" (note to friends ~ just listen. Note to you
who is calling friend.... do not ask for advice unless you want it and
note to both of you, just because you give/receive advice does not
mean you have to take it and if not taken don't be mad at your friend"

Partners ~ Again, qualify what you need from them."honey I had a bad
day, I need a hug" Before they come home, or you get home, decide
what you need from them. Remember, they may have had a bad day too and
your day does not take precedence over theirs. So what do you need?
Do you need to b*tch more? or do you just wanna short update then
enjoy the evening. Honestly think about it. How much time have you
spent feeling stupid about a situation which lasted seconds or was
only a feeling..... so maybe a fabulous hug from someone who is great
makes sense and maybe you realize you already feel better.

Yes, most of the time when we are feeling stupid it is us who then
take it and run with it. Remember we seem to be trained that way, so
the next time you feel you let someone down, let yourself down, did
not live up to expectations, made a mistake at work hurt someone's
feelings, had a fight with someone, yelled at your kid, heard what
someone said behind your back or just are plain having a bad day stop
for a moment....

Regardless of actions you still love you so tell yourself that. You
are allowed to not like your actions or the actions of others but
don't forget the love you still carry for you and those around you.
It is a thought.

Remember the words I am sorry. Yes, had to say for sure especially to
ourselves. I am sorry I hurt you does not mean you are right and I am
now wrong. Why do we go around thinking sorry means someone wins! If
you are fighting or feeling uncomfortable, trust me, no one is
winning. Don't feel stupid apologize to you (for calling you stupid)
and extend an apology if need be to who you feel you might have hurt.
(the reason you are feeling stupid is because you think you did
something wrong so find a solution or give yourself permission not be
be perfect!)

Yes, being perfect. Now here is the clincher. You must take the time
to realize you will NEVER know everything, you will never be the best
and you will never ever live up to everyone's expectations, so you
must decide..... will you go through life being proud of the life you
are living or will you decide others opinions of you are more
important resulting in shame?

We all want to feel proud, so tell yourself this everyday ~ I love
you, I am proud of you, I am there for you, I believe in you, to me
you are perfect, you are beautiful, thank you for living this life
with me, I love my life, I am so grateful for what I have, I am so
proud of you for achieving this, I am so grateful for our friends, ~
yes, I am serious :) Talk to you like you are your own best friend.
You are the best "you" you have each and everyday. You are simple
perfection within each moment of life. Don't decide your past and
imagined future form the moment you are living in now, they don't,
your thoughts do.

So let your ego b*tch, let your mouth run wild and your head call you
stupid. Let your friends be there for you and ask for hugs when
needed and most of all remember, add in the loving thoughts you
deserve from the source always available no matter the time, you. You
are, and always will be, the only one who can make you feel like you
belong in a world where none of us seem to.

Thursday, July 7, 2011

death ~ we are born dying

The one fact we all forget is we are born dying. Death still seems
like such a shock to us even though death is inevitable.

How do we live knowing and believing we will die one day?

This may seem like an odd question but I ask you, "How would you live
your life if you knew you were dying?" It seems we all change when we
know death is impending but it is that way for all of us. We don't
know when it will hit always but it is still coming. This is not a
pessimistic view unless you wish it to be.

You hear all the cliche sayings but do we really ever think about it?
Most of us don't. We live like tomorrow will always be here while
other's live with disregard stating, "well we're all gonna die one
day!" so where is the balance?

The balance is found in acceptance and gratitude. What? How?

Accept the fact you are going to die, thus live without regrets. This
is why you must put yourself first. Not in a cruel manner but in a
self loving manner. This means right now take a moment and think. Do
you have regrets? If so, list them. Now realize there is nothing you
can do about your past. Those past regrets are something you must
realize do not define you, allow yourself to accept the occurrence and
all the emotions surrounding it. Acknowledging how we feel about
something allows us to accept and move on. This can be one tall order
for many past experiences or actions, but doing this allows the
experience to take it's place among the multitude of experiences
you'll have yet in your gift of life.

After you have dealt with regrets (note this not include seeking
anyones forgiveness nor asking anyone to say sorry to you, this is all
about you understanding your past is what it is and it is a part of
you, not the definition of you) It is time to look at your day to day
living in your life.

When you wake up are you grateful to be alive? We often awake already
complaining. Those who have an impending death (that they are aware
of, remember, death is impending for all of us) often realize
complaining is futile and just not worth the energy. Sure you can
complain but are you willing to live the possible last day of your
life being a victim of what you perceive? You are alive, is that not
enough to be grateful for?

If after reading this your ego has gone into overload justifying why
you get to feel bad, take this to heart, you can feel bad and good at
the same time. Yes, you can think more than one thing if you chose to
and have more than one point of view within yourself even if they are
opposing. What do I mean? You awake complaining, allow your ego to
complain while another part of you smiles and is just content to have
awoken this morning.

Make sense?

Yes, life is all about balance. It is not about the bucket list it is
about actually enjoying the mundane of the life you have been given.
During the horrid time and the happy, balance in acceptance, gratitude
and thought is the key.

Try this week to think everyday "I am dying" no this thought will not
enact the law of attraction to kill you, that is not how the law of
attraction works. Plus whether we like it or not, each second we are
closer to our demise. Our egos sure hate this subject eh? :)

As you ponder this thought (don't let it dominate your life as it has
not until this point) and you see yourself pouting or deciding life is
not good enough, remind yourself, "You know you are dying right?" your
mind will reset itself, so chose your next thought. Are you going to
walk away from the argument in your head, or the other person or are
you going to continue the feeling of discontent by choice? There is
not right and wrong here, do as you wish but then don't complain to
the rest of us about your choices and don't decide you get to regret

Our lives create a gorgeous mosaic or painting, completed the day we
leave this earth. The good and the bad experiences blend to create
our unique work of art with no one experience defining us nor our
lives but all experiences coming together to make our life what it is
and will be.

Please never forget how fleeting life is. Take a moment to sit with
yourself and realize your mortality. We will not know when death is
coming so why fear it? By that same statement don't take life for
granted. If you know you can die tomorrow with no regrets then you
are truly living, if you have regrets write them down and acknowledge
them. Acknowledgement can aid us in so many ways and allow us to see
solutions and sometime what is our responsibility and what isn't.

Life may not be easy, but it should never be taken for granted. For
once this life has ended, it has ended. Find peace for you, in your
definition, don't worry about your success simply find a contentment
in this life that suits you and you will not worry if you are going to
die tomorrow so you can indeed appreciate today.

Money for nothing ~ learn how to budget

We are in the age of entitlement. Way to many of us go buy on credit
not thinking at all of the repercussions of our purchase, we just
think "I want it."

Take a moment and ask "do I need it" then we usually try to justify
the purchase :) but do your really NEED it. The majority of the time
the answer will be no, this does not mean you cannot purchase the
item, this simply means you may not wish to buy it yet and may want
something more than you want the other thing. That brings us to basic

It works like this and it is simple.

You have set things in life you NEED to pay for and should be grateful
you can pay for. These companies are not ripping you off by billing
you and your taxes are a result of the great country you get to live
in so yes, you should be happy you can afford to pay those too!
Insurance is often required by law, thus it is also a necessity and
when insurance is by option it is still a need rather than a want as
insurance protects our well being.

Write down how much you make and how often you are paid.

Write down all of you debt then see if you can get it to be one
payment. This includes all credit cards (consumer debt), mortgage and
car. One payment is easier to track than many and also you may be
able to get a lower interest rate. Once that is done, cut up all but
one of your credit cards and make sure that credit card has a very low
limit (no more than $1000) You will also not use a debit card but in
my opinion should always carry your bank card, and one credit card
with you just incase of emergency.

Once you have a clear picture of your debt, then look at your bank
statement. It will show when payments are coming out. Make note of
the dates so you are sure to have enough in for each payment. If you
are renting, post dated cheques are the easiest to work from. If you
own or rent, try and get all of your bills, hydro, heat, electric
equalized (thus paying the same amount each month) and revisit how
much you are paying for you phone, cable etc as some of these extras
you may wish to cut once what you are spending becomes more clear.

Write down how much your debt repayment is per month, then how much
your bills are as well. This total is fixed and MUST be paid each

Things that are not fixed amounts are how much you spend on
transportation and groceries as well as clothing and self care (and
things for the kids that we all buy way to much of:)

Take some time and think how much you would feel you need to spend on
these things and then revisit how much you can actually afford to be
spending on these things. Remember we still haven't even revisited
all the other things you want to buy!

If there is money left over after taking what you make and subtracting
what you need to live on, then subtracting fuel and food, then you
must take a moment and realize one should also keep an emergency fund
where they can. Even $50 a month is enough if you are running low on
cash. Ideally one should have 3 months of set bills put away just

Emergency fund is different than investments as well. If you wish to
invest this money you can but keep it separate. We should have three
months worth of bill payments on hand incase of emergency (injury,
illness etc) and I do not know really of anyone who has this. Most of
us just figure we could use our credit but remember the interest and
how long it will take us to get back on our feet if we do this!

For things you want then you must use money that is NOT required for
any basic expenses. Wants and need are different things and we must
look at the truth of how much we actually need of 'needs'. Life is
not what society tells us it is. No we don't need to look like we are
broke, pride in yourself, your home and vehicle does not cost
anything, thus something that costs what you can afford can still be
beautiful if you are proud of the fact you own it.

Educate yourself.

With a budget in place you will see very clearly you DO have enough to
live on and you WILL make priorities rather than living believing you
don't have enough money for what you want so why bother thinking about

Watch Til Debt Do Us Part on Slice, educate yourself. learn about
what you need to live and make your life a more comfortable financial
place to be. Trust me, living on cash, saving up for what you want
and knowing you have your bills up to date and debt under control is
very, very freeing.