Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Stress, frustration and anger

Emotions are a human gift but somedays emotions sure do not feel like
a gift.

We think we are not allowed to feel, then when we feel we think we
need to let everyone know how we are feeling, confusing.

When we ignore our emotions we begin to create a pressure cooker
effect, one day that lid will blow off.

When we constantly act out our emotions towards others, we are not
dealing them, we are creating more drama for our ego to feed off of.

SO what is the solution?

Accept you are feeling anger, stress or frustration, not act it out,
or even figure it out, just say to ourselves, I am angry, frustrated
and stress and I get to be.

This thought allows these emotions to be present but not take over our
day and thoughts.

We forget we can have all of these 'negatives' and still be content,
even optimistic while feeling them. Yes, we can feel many things,
while still functioning in daily life.

We have been taught we just tell everyone how we are feeling. Why?
People at work don't care. Family don't want the wrath or fall out of
our bad mood and friends usually have their own stuff going on,
so mental acceptance is the only way on a regular basis.

Okay, so explain this to me? What do I do?
Acknowledge the feeling mentally and allow it to be present, do your
best not to take it out on family, friends or at work.
DO NOT try and immediately solve these emotions.
If you feel someone else has caused the emotions to occur, do not run
and decide talking to them will figure it out.
Talk to you first!

Have you ever noticed arguing solves nothing?
Both parties are usually trying to prove they are right rather than
finding a solution, and sometimes the solution has nothing to do with
person you are blaming.

So pause, accept what you are feeling, go through your present day and
moment doing what you need to do to live, knowing you are allowed to
feel what you are feeling but do not need to act it out, then, when
there is time, see if there is something you need to speak with you
about. No not the other person yet.....

When you sit down to examine your solutions, you need to approach it
like an adult. Yes, a solution oriented adult :) We are not in the
sandbox, on the play ground nor in highschool. We are adults.

If your solution is telling the other person they are doing something
wrong, seriously think about this before you do it. Is this something
they have done since you met them? Is this a deal breaker? Do you
treat yourself the same way you are accusing them as treating you?
What do you need from you first? What do you need from them? Maybe you
need a hug or cuddle rather than a fight. Maybe you need to know you
are not alone rather than correcting a behavior you decided was the
problem for you feeling angry. When dealing with emotions honesty of
self is required.

Sometimes, well often actually, our emotions begin and end with us.
We don't find the solutions for our stress, frustration and anger lie
anywhere but within us and how we decide to treat ourselves, perceive
our lives and the thoughts we think each day.

So do your best to accept all of you each day; all of your emotions,
good or bad. Ask for help when you need it, try not to blame and
remember you always have a solution. You are the best you, you can
be, in this moment, in the next and forever. You are enough.

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